Mi Viage

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...
Assalamualaikum,

     I needed a place to express, and i needed a place where I could write as it has been so long since i have. Now that I've started college and i need to get back to writing, I'm a lil' rusty here and there. My words dont seem to come out well enough and my ideas dont seem to flow so here I am, making another blog to express myself thus, to brush up my writing. ANYWAY! Motive of being here is to express, maybe to share, to inspire (as if im inspiring enough -___-) maybe my stories could turn out to be lessons to some and maybe an awareness. Who knows? and just cause I want to!

     It's been years since I've blogged! I googled my old blog and read through and actually laughed and literally wanted to puke. How immature and adorable it was but that's the process of life. I might look at this blog years after and laugh again to it! We grow, our minds change, we mature, we develop. Anyway, I hope I'm actually making some sense!

     'Mi Viage', to me spanish is such a sexy language. The sound to it as they speak makes me melt. 'Mi Viage' translated in English is 'My Journey' so this entry is about well... Me and my journey. It is my blog so it is of course about Mua! ;P It's been almost 7 months since I hijrah. It's been a pleasure and a blessing to have received His hidayah. I personally think it's the best decision I have ever made. I remember the 'Big Day' well enough. It was on the 12th of February 2012. It was on the day that I had my JPJ test. I was not so nervous about the driving test but i was juggling between should I or should I not take a step which was a huge step to actually change my lifestyle, change EVERYTHING about myself.

      Alhamdulillah, I passed my driver's test with no complications and just when I passed, I drove home and was so sure that I wanted to do this. I got home, went upstairs and bathed and put on my maxi skirt and a black long sleeved cotton tshirt and I went in my sister's room and grabbed one of her shawls. Kak Jihan which is my second sister made the first move about a year ago. My change was after my eldest sister, KakFa who hijrah the day before I did. Anyway, I went downstairs and found Mama and KakJihan downstairs having breakfast and I asked KakJihan to show me how to put on the shawl properly and so she did and after that, I never took off the shawl. I never left the house without covering my aurah. A pure blessing. Everything else followed after. I never dared to leave my solat. Im more cautious with words I use. I can say that I think,I'm really taking care of my relationship with my parents especially my Mum. Covering my aurah and doing whatever it is us Muslims are directed to do by Allah s.w.t doesn't mean we're perfect. We try to be better people, better servants to Allah s.w.t. I keep in mind that we're never better than others. We are all the same, I just wanna be better for Him and I just want to keep the process of my hijrah going everyday.

     This all came to me as I finished my SPM last year. I'd be awaken from my sleep at approx 4am in the morning and thinking of what would happen to me? Questions like "What if I die tomorrow?" "Apa nak jadi ni, solat tak jaga?" "Bila nak berubah?" were playing in my mind. Allah is Great... I think it is what KakFa calls it 'Magic' from Allah s.w.t. It was a way of Him opening my heart to actually lead me to his path actually rescuing me from my awful AWFUL sins. I also thought of my father. For daughters who are not married, whoever goes out from the house and exposing your aurah to the people that are not ur muhrim, its your father who is going to carry all that load of sins! Astaghfirullahalazim, that made me go more crazier! Months and months past, and hey! here I am hoping to be better. I cant thank Allah s.w.t enough.

    I also started baking! Ironically, I dont even like cakes. I dont eat them, never been a fan of them but rezeki from Allah s.w.t He gave me the ability to and guess what? People love them! Now, i even sell them! Its crazy and ironic and also a blessing at the same time. My maid also ran away a few weeks after that, and I was known as the malas one but since my maid ran away, my kerajinan took place and now I wash and I clean! Hijrah is in the form of everything... not just spiritually, but in every aspect of yourself. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah... Syukur Alhamdulillah. I really hope this will maintain and He wont take this away from me. I pray to hijrah everyday, Insyaallah.

     Some come to me and ask how do I change? how do I get to that path? Well, it all depends on yourself and making a reality check on why are you living on this earth? Everything is for Allah s.w.t. Isn't it? Whatever you do is for Him and no one else. Some are afraid of leaving all that they are used to such as a social life, those clothes that shows off our gems well... I was there too, i too worry the same things before but when your heart is at the right place, those factors would not be an issue anymore. You just might be making the best decision EVER! It all depends on you... ;)

Wassalam,
Jazakallah Khayran
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