Pillow Talk Part 2 : Vow to Forever

Here's to Forever : 

Mohammad Zulikram & Farah Farisya Syamin

It has already been a week and 5 days since I've gotten married and it has been colourfully great. A lot has changed. New life, brand new days, new responsibilities and I'm probably still in my honeymoon where everything looks and feels great and I'm praying hard to be this happy till the end, In shaa Allah. 

I remember my last single gal week before the wedding. I was terrified yet excited. Truth be told, I was cold feet every time 'Forever' hit me. I needed a little more convincing and I was told that it is normal to feel that way. You see, being engaged was not all that fun for me. I understood what everyone was advising me that I did not understand then. Being engaged was hard, well at least for me. Orang kata 'darah manis' whatever that means. Syaitan will always want to pull you away from the initial niat. I've always thought that marriage was beautiful and all the other good things that marriage had to offer before I got engaged but going through the engagement sometimes led me astray from what I felt towards it before. Syaitan. It took a lot of doa, trust me A LOT. I remember I had a conversation with my cousin when we were driving around spending time. She asked me "Do you think Ikram is the one?" and I took a second to really think about it. Sometimes it takes the right questions to pop out some real thinking. I never was really madly in love, I never really was so sure. I was always convincing myself time after time but then again, with all the dugaan that came, I never wanted to bail out, I never wanted to reject and because of that, I knew Ikram was the one for me. I knew I was going to be okay, In shaa Allah. Days went by so quickly, till the big day came... 

12/12/2014, No, we were not one of those couples who looks for pretty dates, it was all coincidental. Woke up that morning, still trying to digest everything and what was going to happen in a few hours. I was so thankful I had my cousin with me who was also my Maid of honour. She was there the whole time for me. I can't thank her enough. Trust me, if you are getting married, picking the right maid of honour or whoever you want to call her, your second hand, or whatever you call it is pretty crucial. Getting married is a huge deal. Tons of feelings rushing through you and you just need someone to just really be present with you and be there for you the whole way through and my cousin did just that, perfectly! My nikah was scheduled at 5pm at Masjid Al Ghufran, TTDI nearby my place. I remember right after my solat Asar, I went down, got into my car with my sister, Kak Jihan, my cousin, Kak Fazreen and Abang Iqmal who drove us to the Masjid. As we reached to the masjid, first thing I saw was Ikram's car and saw his sisters outside the masjid and I felt like I was about to lose myself. I couldn't feel myself. Things just got real then and there. 'This is it', I thought. My whole life is about to change in a few minutes. It was time to enter, I walked out of the car and as I wanted to step into the masjid, my nerves really kicked in. I needed a second before I made my next step. My sister held my hand and asked me to zikir all the way. We got in, I sat on the cushion that was placed for me. I sat down, I had my mum next to me, my sisters, my family, my friends all there with me. I held my cousin, Kak Fazreen's hand all the way through. And so it was time. I gotta say, I really like my qadhi, Ustaz Syahid, the Imam of  the masjid. He was young so, he made it all easy. I love how he explained things before we started. My nikah was after Asar, and both me and Ikram knew there was no solat sunat after during waktu Asar. I was worried that my aunties were gonna bug me with questions like "Kenapa dia tak solat Asar" and all but Ustaz Syahid explained it through so Pheww! Nikah is super easy but sekarang, some of the qadhi makes it pretty complicated. Kena genggam tangan (pengantin lelaki & Wali) or the lafaz has to have this and that, tak boleh miss out some words but it isn't like that at all. Ustaz Syahid made it really easy and yes, breezy sampai my husband thought it was just a rehearsal when it was actually the real thing. Tak sempat nak rasa that extra nerves kicking! All I knew, it was over in minutes! 

Dengan sekali lafaz, I was already his wife. A title 'Puan' was stamped on my forehead. It was pretty surreal. 

He's probably the best, most realistic decision I have ever made in my life. 

 Here's one with the best Maid of Honour a bride could ever have! 

Here's the thing I want to share. Probably a few weeks before I got married, I prayed during my sujud that as my husband made that lafaz nikah, I prayed Allah will fill my heart with 'mawaddah' that strong love from Him towards my husband and Alhamdulillah as my husband made that lafaz, that instant love I had for him was probably indescribable. I felt so happy only Allah knew. It felt different something I cannot describe. After lafaz taklik and etc, he came to me for the 'batal air sembahyang' ritual. I still remember vividly, he came over to me and I had this huge smile and I said "Assalamualaikum" and we both giggled because on his whatsapp status he wrote "You had me at Assalamualaikum" since 287 days and 20 hours ago (pardon me, I just checked my whatsapp for that!) and the rest was history...

I love him so much in a way I never thought I could ever love somebody and I consider myself so lucky everyday when I wake up every morning. I am so thankful to Allah that He led me to this wonderful man who has been doing such a great job in taking care of me. I'm not going to lie, it isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Marriage is beautiful but it's so much to it. It's a huge responsibility and it is a lot of sacrifice. I have never been away from my family. As you all may know, I am the youngest out of 4 siblings. I never liked being away from my Mum. Though sometimes home gets tough and rough, it's still home. Now that I'm married, I moved in with my husband and it is just us for now. I miss home everyday, but I wouldn't trade anywhere else to be than here with my husband. I've never left my home for 20 years of my life till now. I never left TTDI, ever and now I'm an hour away. Every day is a new experience. To know I've got someone to take care of and best part is, I love taking care and being taken care of. I now have someone to lean on. I love how someone waits for me to pray with him (come on, dream come true!) I learn new responsibilities that before maybe I couldn't even care less. To clean, to cook. My first day of cooking for my husband and it turned out to be a little salty and yet my husband said it was good and still says thank you and he appreciates it. He gives me kisses and hugs whenever he sees the little things I do that keeps me going. It's great to have someone appreciate things that you do and I am grateful to have him. 

This experience have been wonderful so far and I really hope no matter how crazy and tough it is going to be, Allah will make it easy to go through rainy days and that Allah will jaga my marriage for me. My friends semua tanya "Best tak kahwin?" and here I am going to answer everyone "Best gilaaaaa!" 

About my reception, 

We held it at Duchess Place, Jalan Ampang. A lovely place! I wouldn't have it anywhere else. The place was so me! The reception was shared with my brother who got married earlier in October so to celebrate the last 2 of the family who got married, my mum celebrated both of us sekali. My wedding pictures got pretty viral on Instagram as I was told. Guess it was my photographers that took amazing photos that made us look great! I'm so glad I picked the team to make the wedding happen. My photographer was Raihan Talib and gosh Abang Rai did such a great job on the photos alongside Abang Azizi as his partner. Pictures turned out AMAZING that we couldn't resist not hiring him for Ikram's side of the wedding soon! 

 I love my dreamy dress. Vivien from Emma Weddings made it come true for me. Here's some tips for those who are getting married soon. Know what you want. Planning your wedding is going to be crazily hectic. A lot of people are going to give you a lot of suggestions but at the end of the day, its YOUR day. You should know how you to want to look and feel. If it doesn't make it feel you, you have the right to say something. Make sure by the end of the day, you feel satisfied cause lets face it, everything is money so spend it wisely and spend it on something that is worth it and its once in a lifetime experience. I love how my tailor makes me feel 'Me' and she is probably the best, honestly. She tailor makes to perfection.  (PS: Use time to decide on who to hire, where to have your wedding at wisely. Budget is seriously important. You can always find something nice that wont cost fortunes, trust me)

So there you go, a little something to share of my 'Happily Ever After'. Thank you for all the overwhelming doas. Thank you for leaving such sweet comments on Instagram, on Facebook. I'm glad if this story of ours inspires some of you. Thank you for sending emails too! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and sharing how happy you are for us. Please doakan for the best for both my husband and I and we pray the same for everyone. May Allah shower us all with Love, Rahmat&Barakah, In shaa Allah, Ameen. 

Pillow Talk : The Surprise Engagement

The Engagement of Farah Farisya&Zulikram :

Allah works in Mysterious Ways.

            I wasn’t too sure if I should or I shouldn’t share this journey of mine but I think it’s worth telling, well at least to me it is. It has been awhile since I actually wrote on my blog. I’ve been nestling in my own world, figuring my things out. I recently got engaged, it was a surprise to most that I actually received texts, people asking what happened, apa jadi? Kenapa? How? Even from the most random people, ( I thought my phone number was only for those who were interested in my cakes and not for asking personal questions, but oh well).

            My fiancé and I, got to know each other about a year ago, 18^th of June 2013. Sweet sangat la kan untuk remember the date, it’s because he print screened our 1^st conversation and a lot more (he might be insensitive sometimes but he’s such a sentimental person that I've come to discover) that now I’ve been keeping in my phone as a sentimental value of mine. Maybe one day, it’ll be my version of ‘How I met your Father’ Lol. He’s a best friend of my nephew's, I don’t know how my name came up in their conversation one day and he found me on instagram and used my cheesecake to get to me -___- (eyy) My weakness with him was when I met his family about a year ago. I was welcomed with such warmth, something I’ve always had in my doa and the very first time when we went over to my friend’s house, he became the Imam to us, so I knew he had agama. I wanted a family who makes me feel welcomed& warm and that was exactly how it was when I first met them. It was decent, it wasn't over the top, it was just normal, pleasant & just welcomed and feeling warm, exactly what I’ve always wanted and expected. But things dint work out, I’ve already had things on my plate, I wasn’t ready for anything maybe Allah belum bukakan hati lagi. Hati ni Allah yang punya, He decides what to put in and to whom it should open to. One thing about him, Ikram, he never gave up. He waited. Talk about not giving him even a slight chance, blocked him everywhere, un-friended him from Facebook, blocked on Instagram, blocked calls, blocked on whatsapp. Whenever he had the chance to talk to me, he’d tell me, “I’m so sure I’m going to marry you. I doa everyday” Creepy then, I swear but I was kinda awed by him being so sure, so determined. I met other people, some men give up so easily when things get rough, when we don’t reach them, they don’t find U, they wait for U to find them but that wasn’t Ikram. He knew what he wanted from the very beginning. His intentions were clear. I really love going to Islamic Events, I received mysterious free tickets out of absolutely no where! From Twins of Faith to Mufti Menk’s talk in KL, all free tickets. Siti, a really good friend of mine would out of the blue say “Farisya, I dapat free tickets for this event, jom pergi!” I’ve always wondered who, but when everything was settled, I found out it was all from Ikram cause he knew I love going to these events and of course Siti jadi orang tengah (thanks for keeping secrets from me, Adabiyah -___-)

            Months later, earlier this year, Momma came back from Kelantan from a cousin’s engagement. She asked about Ikram. I found out Ikram texted Momma while she was there and Momma fell for it (in a good way that is) and so I said “Ma, if U like him, mama arrange kan lah. Adik tak nak ambik tahu. Adik ikut je” I never thought Momma would take it seriously but she did! Text after text between Momma and Ikram, Momma finally told Ikram that if he was serious about me, bring his parents to come meet mine and of course, Ikram did. I don’t know how, macam mana but it just happened after that. It was easy. What surprised me was Bah. My dad, he’s the old school kinda guy, probably how most fathers are like too. I’m 20, education first, work on my degree, marriage later. Few came over to ask for my hand in marriage, trust me kena tolak kaw-kaw but it wasn’t like that this time. He was so approving of it. I was in a state of shock, I still dint understand how it was happening, macam mana? Macam mana boleh jadi macam ni. For those who know Bah, they’d totally understand what I’m exactly saying. I was also expecting some objection from my side of the family with the decision my parents are making but no, no one objected, in fact everyone was happy (mungkin semua nak get rid of me? Pfft ;p) Ikram’s family came in March, settled on having the engagement in June. Crazy how things happened so fast and so smooth that exaggerated or not, I felt like I was floating and I let things past by me, beyond my usual control (sometimes I could be a slightly control freak).

            It wasn’t easy for me to settle in, it took me awhile and a lot of Istikharah. I remember going to Twins of Faith last year, and before I went, I was actually wondering how Istikharah really works. Is there a time frame? Should I wait for a mimpi for an answer? All that, that made me confused. Allah answered me, I went to TOF, and there was a workshop called “Get Married or Die Fasting”. I was taken back on how many youths were there, teenagers, people around my age. Mungkin selalunya kita tengok perempuan yang asyik sibuk about these things, but no. The guys were there too, asking questions. Semua keluar, semua asyik cakap “I wanna get married. I think it’s so beautiful. I don’t wanna stay in sin.” I was one of them too. In the workshop, this really awesome Sheikh Alaa Elsayed (gosh, I fell in love with his lectures, he was really really good). I remember him saying “We Muslims, do not just simply get married out of love. It is not Mahabbah (love) for us Muslims. Marriage is about Mawaddah and Rahmah where Mawaddah is something higher than Mahabbah (love) and it comes from women and Rahmah is mercy which comes from men.” He blew me away, really and I’m so sure I wasn’t the only one. He explained about Istikharah and how it works. He said, Istikharah does not have a time frame to it, it isn’t a week or a month it is supposed to be done until U are sure and certain and that comes from Ur heart. Allah yang gerakkan hati. We ask, we will get the answer, In shaa Allah. Gerak hati ni sangat powerful especially when Ur nawaitu is Lillahita’ala. Allah will definitely help. When U seek for Him, He comes running to answer U. U just need to believe. MashaAllah, it’s incredible how it works, really. And so I did that, and I wasn’t in love, it felt different. I wasn’t into Ikram, I probably picked fights and became this really tough cookie, made it hard for him but I don’t know why, I never said I don’t wanna do this and declined the proposal. I became tough on him, ada je salah dia. Ada je tak kena. I get annoyed so fast even for the silliest things but Ikram just stood still and he was so patient that I always questioned Why? If it was lelaki lain, they’d probably walk off already but not him which surprised me. I probably had trouble with my fiancé, making him understand and just expecting knowing what to do because most of the time, he was clueless. He dint know how to handle situations but the best thing about him for now (I hope he stays this way) is that he listens and he improvises. When I tell him the things that I don’t like, he just sits and listens and never points back at me though I gave him many reasons for him to. I started opening up. Momma kept saying “Perasaan ni semua nafsu, the enjoyment of a relationship before marriage is all nafsu.” “If adik tak happy, Momma doa. Allah will ease Ur heart for him kalau dia lah terbaik for U, In shaa Allah” and so I guess she did, cause I started opening up as Ikram started to grow and improve. He made me want to improve as well and get myself all prepared. It made me still on the decision they were making for me because it made my parents happy knowing anak dia dengar cakap both of them. I may not have been a perfect daughter to them but knowing I’m doing something right, something that eases their hearts, bring pleasure to them made me just let it all happen and I knew, tak akan Momma&Bah would want to choose wrongly untuk their daughter. As days went by, of course I did research on my own about Ikram who was soon to be my fiancé then. I asked around (yes, if u’re reading this, I did) and all the feed backs I got were all good. I knew he had agama, and a good family background and responsible too. I was taken back one time when I saw him taking care of my nephew, Owais who is 3 months old whenever he’s over at my house with my family and how he loves Harris and Hanna. More importantly, I know he is really responsible towards his mum and that his parents and sisters mean a lot to him. I once heard a lecture on how to pick the right husband. Pick a man who takes care of his family, his mum especially and see how he treats his sisters cause that is how he will treat U. New tip, girls! Make sure U look out for these details when Ur looking for a husband. See if he loves learning about the Deen too. If a man cries over stories of Rasulullah saw, he’s a keeper to me and yes, dear fiancé, U fit the bill. I was also so happy to see that his family and mine connected so well. Momma has always wanted to berbesan with a family that can go well with us and Ikram’s family is such a pleasure to have. I know things can grow even better, In shaa Allah and thrilled that they all fit in so well. To me, family has been so important, I’ve had my share of bad experience so I’ve always doa, and Allah bagi at the right time. I was so happy! I mean, when U get married, main part is silaturrahim, U expand Ur family and to have a good relationship with each other is such a bonus. I would wanna be happy to spend time with my in laws, I could talk to my sister in laws and that it would be a pleasure every time my husband wants to go back to his family’s house rather than feeling tak nak cause some tension between us all but this, what I have now, even the start is better than what I have imagined. Like I said, the relationship isn’t over the top, but it progresses so beautifully each time, Alhamdulillah. I feel like myself when I’m around them and that’s a rezeki for me and they’re so lovely, Alhamdulillah.

            June came, 14^th of June to be exact everything&everyone was ready for my engagement. Mula-mula, tak nervous, relax-relax dulu, tak rasa apa. My engagement was after maghrib, and when my sister, Kak Jihan came in my room to assist me down, gosh! That’s when I couldn’t feel anything. Knees were weak and the rest was history. It went so well, it was like a reunion. My family and his, they were connected in some way, which most of them knew each other (small world!). Bah’s from Pahang, and his parents are too so as it turned out, some of them were long lost friends back in their days. It was so overwhelming, Alhamdulillah. Best part was, I had most of the important people in my life with me on that small step/special day of mine and so I thank family&friends who came daripada jauh just to witness that day with me. I started introducing people to Ikram (yes, he was there after it was all over) I introduced him as my fiancé, my tunang, it was too awkward at first and I’d giggle every time I introduced him cause bayangkan lah, I never introduced him as anything, he was not my boyfriend he was just Ikram and suddenly, hey! He’s my fiancé!

I felt like it was over within a split second and best part was everything was so casual and relaxed too! 

Probably my favorite picture of his mum&I 

P.S: Thanks, Rafiq for the amazing photos U took. 

            The guy known as the one who is so annoying, who doesn’t take no for an answer, who just doesn’t know when to stop is now my fiancé. Crazy how it works, kerja Allah. It all concludes to hati ni milik Allah. Now that guy who is annoying, I kinda miss when he’s working and on long hour flights. Allah yang boleh tukar how we feel but of course for now, everything has its limits to how we feel for things. There should be a distance cause when the time comes, then the distance closes and then ke langit biru pun both of us can go. May Allah protect us and keep our relationship clean&right. This is the perfect example for me, sometimes we plan but Allah plans it differently and better of course and just beautiful. It’s overwhelming to see all of this progressing. We’re not even waiting too long too, the engagement is only for 6 months. Imagine lah, 6 months! Now, everything is in progress for a wedding in December, In shaa Allah. They say I’d never get a nice hall in such short notice cause usually people book a year before but Alhamdulillah, I found a place better than I imagined with such a good deal. Things are progressing smoothly though I admit, it’s pretty stressful especially juggling with studies and also preparing tapi all is going fine. I’ve got so much help from the people around me that makes it all easy that makes it not such a heavy burden that I still have time and of course to prioritize my studies first and in between do my preparations. Not saying this is an all smooth sailing boat ride, it has its bumps but I’m too certain that Allah will help, In shaa Allah because we’re doing something beautiful and everything is because of Him and for Him.

            The girl who envied these young girls who got married while they were studying who ended up elok je, berkat je is finally getting married at 20, In shaa Allah. The girl yang asyik doa siang malam with a list of how she wants her future husband to be, dapat apa yang dia asyik doa pada Allah. I can’t thank Momma enough, berkat doa dia mungkin, berkat dia yang pilih. Because, redha Ibu, redha Allah. Nothing’s perfect but I’m too thankful for whatever that’s happening to me right now, for all that I have been given and maybe, just maybe I might have done something right. For every flaw and bump, makes me realize, this is just dunia which makes it real and not make believe. May Allah ease my journey&Berkatkan my perjalanan because Ya Allah, I’m so thankful, Alhamdulillah.

            Thanks to those who have doa and wished for me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, May Allah bless everyone. 

Thanks Dena for capturing this, this picture's so priceless just cause maybe Bah hugged me that way. Felt like I was 6 again. We had a small celebration for Bah's 78th birthday too since his birthday was on the 6th of June. 

and of course all of them,Us. Finally a family picture of all of us. Thanks kakak-kakak&abang for just EVERYTHING! *though I wish Bah smiled -__-*