Pillow Talk : The Surprise Engagement

The Engagement of Farah Farisya&Zulikram :

Allah works in Mysterious Ways.

            I wasn’t too sure if I should or I shouldn’t share this journey of mine but I think it’s worth telling, well at least to me it is. It has been awhile since I actually wrote on my blog. I’ve been nestling in my own world, figuring my things out. I recently got engaged, it was a surprise to most that I actually received texts, people asking what happened, apa jadi? Kenapa? How? Even from the most random people, ( I thought my phone number was only for those who were interested in my cakes and not for asking personal questions, but oh well).

            My fiancé and I, got to know each other about a year ago, 18^th of June 2013. Sweet sangat la kan untuk remember the date, it’s because he print screened our 1^st conversation and a lot more (he might be insensitive sometimes but he’s such a sentimental person that I've come to discover) that now I’ve been keeping in my phone as a sentimental value of mine. Maybe one day, it’ll be my version of ‘How I met your Father’ Lol. He’s a best friend of my nephew's, I don’t know how my name came up in their conversation one day and he found me on instagram and used my cheesecake to get to me -___- (eyy) My weakness with him was when I met his family about a year ago. I was welcomed with such warmth, something I’ve always had in my doa and the very first time when we went over to my friend’s house, he became the Imam to us, so I knew he had agama. I wanted a family who makes me feel welcomed& warm and that was exactly how it was when I first met them. It was decent, it wasn't over the top, it was just normal, pleasant & just welcomed and feeling warm, exactly what I’ve always wanted and expected. But things dint work out, I’ve already had things on my plate, I wasn’t ready for anything maybe Allah belum bukakan hati lagi. Hati ni Allah yang punya, He decides what to put in and to whom it should open to. One thing about him, Ikram, he never gave up. He waited. Talk about not giving him even a slight chance, blocked him everywhere, un-friended him from Facebook, blocked on Instagram, blocked calls, blocked on whatsapp. Whenever he had the chance to talk to me, he’d tell me, “I’m so sure I’m going to marry you. I doa everyday” Creepy then, I swear but I was kinda awed by him being so sure, so determined. I met other people, some men give up so easily when things get rough, when we don’t reach them, they don’t find U, they wait for U to find them but that wasn’t Ikram. He knew what he wanted from the very beginning. His intentions were clear. I really love going to Islamic Events, I received mysterious free tickets out of absolutely no where! From Twins of Faith to Mufti Menk’s talk in KL, all free tickets. Siti, a really good friend of mine would out of the blue say “Farisya, I dapat free tickets for this event, jom pergi!” I’ve always wondered who, but when everything was settled, I found out it was all from Ikram cause he knew I love going to these events and of course Siti jadi orang tengah (thanks for keeping secrets from me, Adabiyah -___-)

            Months later, earlier this year, Momma came back from Kelantan from a cousin’s engagement. She asked about Ikram. I found out Ikram texted Momma while she was there and Momma fell for it (in a good way that is) and so I said “Ma, if U like him, mama arrange kan lah. Adik tak nak ambik tahu. Adik ikut je” I never thought Momma would take it seriously but she did! Text after text between Momma and Ikram, Momma finally told Ikram that if he was serious about me, bring his parents to come meet mine and of course, Ikram did. I don’t know how, macam mana but it just happened after that. It was easy. What surprised me was Bah. My dad, he’s the old school kinda guy, probably how most fathers are like too. I’m 20, education first, work on my degree, marriage later. Few came over to ask for my hand in marriage, trust me kena tolak kaw-kaw but it wasn’t like that this time. He was so approving of it. I was in a state of shock, I still dint understand how it was happening, macam mana? Macam mana boleh jadi macam ni. For those who know Bah, they’d totally understand what I’m exactly saying. I was also expecting some objection from my side of the family with the decision my parents are making but no, no one objected, in fact everyone was happy (mungkin semua nak get rid of me? Pfft ;p) Ikram’s family came in March, settled on having the engagement in June. Crazy how things happened so fast and so smooth that exaggerated or not, I felt like I was floating and I let things past by me, beyond my usual control (sometimes I could be a slightly control freak).

            It wasn’t easy for me to settle in, it took me awhile and a lot of Istikharah. I remember going to Twins of Faith last year, and before I went, I was actually wondering how Istikharah really works. Is there a time frame? Should I wait for a mimpi for an answer? All that, that made me confused. Allah answered me, I went to TOF, and there was a workshop called “Get Married or Die Fasting”. I was taken back on how many youths were there, teenagers, people around my age. Mungkin selalunya kita tengok perempuan yang asyik sibuk about these things, but no. The guys were there too, asking questions. Semua keluar, semua asyik cakap “I wanna get married. I think it’s so beautiful. I don’t wanna stay in sin.” I was one of them too. In the workshop, this really awesome Sheikh Alaa Elsayed (gosh, I fell in love with his lectures, he was really really good). I remember him saying “We Muslims, do not just simply get married out of love. It is not Mahabbah (love) for us Muslims. Marriage is about Mawaddah and Rahmah where Mawaddah is something higher than Mahabbah (love) and it comes from women and Rahmah is mercy which comes from men.” He blew me away, really and I’m so sure I wasn’t the only one. He explained about Istikharah and how it works. He said, Istikharah does not have a time frame to it, it isn’t a week or a month it is supposed to be done until U are sure and certain and that comes from Ur heart. Allah yang gerakkan hati. We ask, we will get the answer, In shaa Allah. Gerak hati ni sangat powerful especially when Ur nawaitu is Lillahita’ala. Allah will definitely help. When U seek for Him, He comes running to answer U. U just need to believe. MashaAllah, it’s incredible how it works, really. And so I did that, and I wasn’t in love, it felt different. I wasn’t into Ikram, I probably picked fights and became this really tough cookie, made it hard for him but I don’t know why, I never said I don’t wanna do this and declined the proposal. I became tough on him, ada je salah dia. Ada je tak kena. I get annoyed so fast even for the silliest things but Ikram just stood still and he was so patient that I always questioned Why? If it was lelaki lain, they’d probably walk off already but not him which surprised me. I probably had trouble with my fiancé, making him understand and just expecting knowing what to do because most of the time, he was clueless. He dint know how to handle situations but the best thing about him for now (I hope he stays this way) is that he listens and he improvises. When I tell him the things that I don’t like, he just sits and listens and never points back at me though I gave him many reasons for him to. I started opening up. Momma kept saying “Perasaan ni semua nafsu, the enjoyment of a relationship before marriage is all nafsu.” “If adik tak happy, Momma doa. Allah will ease Ur heart for him kalau dia lah terbaik for U, In shaa Allah” and so I guess she did, cause I started opening up as Ikram started to grow and improve. He made me want to improve as well and get myself all prepared. It made me still on the decision they were making for me because it made my parents happy knowing anak dia dengar cakap both of them. I may not have been a perfect daughter to them but knowing I’m doing something right, something that eases their hearts, bring pleasure to them made me just let it all happen and I knew, tak akan Momma&Bah would want to choose wrongly untuk their daughter. As days went by, of course I did research on my own about Ikram who was soon to be my fiancé then. I asked around (yes, if u’re reading this, I did) and all the feed backs I got were all good. I knew he had agama, and a good family background and responsible too. I was taken back one time when I saw him taking care of my nephew, Owais who is 3 months old whenever he’s over at my house with my family and how he loves Harris and Hanna. More importantly, I know he is really responsible towards his mum and that his parents and sisters mean a lot to him. I once heard a lecture on how to pick the right husband. Pick a man who takes care of his family, his mum especially and see how he treats his sisters cause that is how he will treat U. New tip, girls! Make sure U look out for these details when Ur looking for a husband. See if he loves learning about the Deen too. If a man cries over stories of Rasulullah saw, he’s a keeper to me and yes, dear fiancé, U fit the bill. I was also so happy to see that his family and mine connected so well. Momma has always wanted to berbesan with a family that can go well with us and Ikram’s family is such a pleasure to have. I know things can grow even better, In shaa Allah and thrilled that they all fit in so well. To me, family has been so important, I’ve had my share of bad experience so I’ve always doa, and Allah bagi at the right time. I was so happy! I mean, when U get married, main part is silaturrahim, U expand Ur family and to have a good relationship with each other is such a bonus. I would wanna be happy to spend time with my in laws, I could talk to my sister in laws and that it would be a pleasure every time my husband wants to go back to his family’s house rather than feeling tak nak cause some tension between us all but this, what I have now, even the start is better than what I have imagined. Like I said, the relationship isn’t over the top, but it progresses so beautifully each time, Alhamdulillah. I feel like myself when I’m around them and that’s a rezeki for me and they’re so lovely, Alhamdulillah.

            June came, 14^th of June to be exact everything&everyone was ready for my engagement. Mula-mula, tak nervous, relax-relax dulu, tak rasa apa. My engagement was after maghrib, and when my sister, Kak Jihan came in my room to assist me down, gosh! That’s when I couldn’t feel anything. Knees were weak and the rest was history. It went so well, it was like a reunion. My family and his, they were connected in some way, which most of them knew each other (small world!). Bah’s from Pahang, and his parents are too so as it turned out, some of them were long lost friends back in their days. It was so overwhelming, Alhamdulillah. Best part was, I had most of the important people in my life with me on that small step/special day of mine and so I thank family&friends who came daripada jauh just to witness that day with me. I started introducing people to Ikram (yes, he was there after it was all over) I introduced him as my fiancé, my tunang, it was too awkward at first and I’d giggle every time I introduced him cause bayangkan lah, I never introduced him as anything, he was not my boyfriend he was just Ikram and suddenly, hey! He’s my fiancé!

I felt like it was over within a split second and best part was everything was so casual and relaxed too! 

Probably my favorite picture of his mum&I 

P.S: Thanks, Rafiq for the amazing photos U took. 

            The guy known as the one who is so annoying, who doesn’t take no for an answer, who just doesn’t know when to stop is now my fiancé. Crazy how it works, kerja Allah. It all concludes to hati ni milik Allah. Now that guy who is annoying, I kinda miss when he’s working and on long hour flights. Allah yang boleh tukar how we feel but of course for now, everything has its limits to how we feel for things. There should be a distance cause when the time comes, then the distance closes and then ke langit biru pun both of us can go. May Allah protect us and keep our relationship clean&right. This is the perfect example for me, sometimes we plan but Allah plans it differently and better of course and just beautiful. It’s overwhelming to see all of this progressing. We’re not even waiting too long too, the engagement is only for 6 months. Imagine lah, 6 months! Now, everything is in progress for a wedding in December, In shaa Allah. They say I’d never get a nice hall in such short notice cause usually people book a year before but Alhamdulillah, I found a place better than I imagined with such a good deal. Things are progressing smoothly though I admit, it’s pretty stressful especially juggling with studies and also preparing tapi all is going fine. I’ve got so much help from the people around me that makes it all easy that makes it not such a heavy burden that I still have time and of course to prioritize my studies first and in between do my preparations. Not saying this is an all smooth sailing boat ride, it has its bumps but I’m too certain that Allah will help, In shaa Allah because we’re doing something beautiful and everything is because of Him and for Him.

            The girl who envied these young girls who got married while they were studying who ended up elok je, berkat je is finally getting married at 20, In shaa Allah. The girl yang asyik doa siang malam with a list of how she wants her future husband to be, dapat apa yang dia asyik doa pada Allah. I can’t thank Momma enough, berkat doa dia mungkin, berkat dia yang pilih. Because, redha Ibu, redha Allah. Nothing’s perfect but I’m too thankful for whatever that’s happening to me right now, for all that I have been given and maybe, just maybe I might have done something right. For every flaw and bump, makes me realize, this is just dunia which makes it real and not make believe. May Allah ease my journey&Berkatkan my perjalanan because Ya Allah, I’m so thankful, Alhamdulillah.

            Thanks to those who have doa and wished for me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, May Allah bless everyone. 

Thanks Dena for capturing this, this picture's so priceless just cause maybe Bah hugged me that way. Felt like I was 6 again. We had a small celebration for Bah's 78th birthday too since his birthday was on the 6th of June. 

and of course all of them,Us. Finally a family picture of all of us. Thanks kakak-kakak&abang for just EVERYTHING! *though I wish Bah smiled -__-*