Pillow Talk Part 2 : Vow to Forever

Here's to Forever : 

Mohammad Zulikram & Farah Farisya Syamin

It has already been a week and 5 days since I've gotten married and it has been colourfully great. A lot has changed. New life, brand new days, new responsibilities and I'm probably still in my honeymoon where everything looks and feels great and I'm praying hard to be this happy till the end, In shaa Allah. 

I remember my last single gal week before the wedding. I was terrified yet excited. Truth be told, I was cold feet every time 'Forever' hit me. I needed a little more convincing and I was told that it is normal to feel that way. You see, being engaged was not all that fun for me. I understood what everyone was advising me that I did not understand then. Being engaged was hard, well at least for me. Orang kata 'darah manis' whatever that means. Syaitan will always want to pull you away from the initial niat. I've always thought that marriage was beautiful and all the other good things that marriage had to offer before I got engaged but going through the engagement sometimes led me astray from what I felt towards it before. Syaitan. It took a lot of doa, trust me A LOT. I remember I had a conversation with my cousin when we were driving around spending time. She asked me "Do you think Ikram is the one?" and I took a second to really think about it. Sometimes it takes the right questions to pop out some real thinking. I never was really madly in love, I never really was so sure. I was always convincing myself time after time but then again, with all the dugaan that came, I never wanted to bail out, I never wanted to reject and because of that, I knew Ikram was the one for me. I knew I was going to be okay, In shaa Allah. Days went by so quickly, till the big day came... 

12/12/2014, No, we were not one of those couples who looks for pretty dates, it was all coincidental. Woke up that morning, still trying to digest everything and what was going to happen in a few hours. I was so thankful I had my cousin with me who was also my Maid of honour. She was there the whole time for me. I can't thank her enough. Trust me, if you are getting married, picking the right maid of honour or whoever you want to call her, your second hand, or whatever you call it is pretty crucial. Getting married is a huge deal. Tons of feelings rushing through you and you just need someone to just really be present with you and be there for you the whole way through and my cousin did just that, perfectly! My nikah was scheduled at 5pm at Masjid Al Ghufran, TTDI nearby my place. I remember right after my solat Asar, I went down, got into my car with my sister, Kak Jihan, my cousin, Kak Fazreen and Abang Iqmal who drove us to the Masjid. As we reached to the masjid, first thing I saw was Ikram's car and saw his sisters outside the masjid and I felt like I was about to lose myself. I couldn't feel myself. Things just got real then and there. 'This is it', I thought. My whole life is about to change in a few minutes. It was time to enter, I walked out of the car and as I wanted to step into the masjid, my nerves really kicked in. I needed a second before I made my next step. My sister held my hand and asked me to zikir all the way. We got in, I sat on the cushion that was placed for me. I sat down, I had my mum next to me, my sisters, my family, my friends all there with me. I held my cousin, Kak Fazreen's hand all the way through. And so it was time. I gotta say, I really like my qadhi, Ustaz Syahid, the Imam of  the masjid. He was young so, he made it all easy. I love how he explained things before we started. My nikah was after Asar, and both me and Ikram knew there was no solat sunat after during waktu Asar. I was worried that my aunties were gonna bug me with questions like "Kenapa dia tak solat Asar" and all but Ustaz Syahid explained it through so Pheww! Nikah is super easy but sekarang, some of the qadhi makes it pretty complicated. Kena genggam tangan (pengantin lelaki & Wali) or the lafaz has to have this and that, tak boleh miss out some words but it isn't like that at all. Ustaz Syahid made it really easy and yes, breezy sampai my husband thought it was just a rehearsal when it was actually the real thing. Tak sempat nak rasa that extra nerves kicking! All I knew, it was over in minutes! 

Dengan sekali lafaz, I was already his wife. A title 'Puan' was stamped on my forehead. It was pretty surreal. 

He's probably the best, most realistic decision I have ever made in my life. 

 Here's one with the best Maid of Honour a bride could ever have! 

Here's the thing I want to share. Probably a few weeks before I got married, I prayed during my sujud that as my husband made that lafaz nikah, I prayed Allah will fill my heart with 'mawaddah' that strong love from Him towards my husband and Alhamdulillah as my husband made that lafaz, that instant love I had for him was probably indescribable. I felt so happy only Allah knew. It felt different something I cannot describe. After lafaz taklik and etc, he came to me for the 'batal air sembahyang' ritual. I still remember vividly, he came over to me and I had this huge smile and I said "Assalamualaikum" and we both giggled because on his whatsapp status he wrote "You had me at Assalamualaikum" since 287 days and 20 hours ago (pardon me, I just checked my whatsapp for that!) and the rest was history...

I love him so much in a way I never thought I could ever love somebody and I consider myself so lucky everyday when I wake up every morning. I am so thankful to Allah that He led me to this wonderful man who has been doing such a great job in taking care of me. I'm not going to lie, it isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Marriage is beautiful but it's so much to it. It's a huge responsibility and it is a lot of sacrifice. I have never been away from my family. As you all may know, I am the youngest out of 4 siblings. I never liked being away from my Mum. Though sometimes home gets tough and rough, it's still home. Now that I'm married, I moved in with my husband and it is just us for now. I miss home everyday, but I wouldn't trade anywhere else to be than here with my husband. I've never left my home for 20 years of my life till now. I never left TTDI, ever and now I'm an hour away. Every day is a new experience. To know I've got someone to take care of and best part is, I love taking care and being taken care of. I now have someone to lean on. I love how someone waits for me to pray with him (come on, dream come true!) I learn new responsibilities that before maybe I couldn't even care less. To clean, to cook. My first day of cooking for my husband and it turned out to be a little salty and yet my husband said it was good and still says thank you and he appreciates it. He gives me kisses and hugs whenever he sees the little things I do that keeps me going. It's great to have someone appreciate things that you do and I am grateful to have him. 

This experience have been wonderful so far and I really hope no matter how crazy and tough it is going to be, Allah will make it easy to go through rainy days and that Allah will jaga my marriage for me. My friends semua tanya "Best tak kahwin?" and here I am going to answer everyone "Best gilaaaaa!" 

About my reception, 

We held it at Duchess Place, Jalan Ampang. A lovely place! I wouldn't have it anywhere else. The place was so me! The reception was shared with my brother who got married earlier in October so to celebrate the last 2 of the family who got married, my mum celebrated both of us sekali. My wedding pictures got pretty viral on Instagram as I was told. Guess it was my photographers that took amazing photos that made us look great! I'm so glad I picked the team to make the wedding happen. My photographer was Raihan Talib and gosh Abang Rai did such a great job on the photos alongside Abang Azizi as his partner. Pictures turned out AMAZING that we couldn't resist not hiring him for Ikram's side of the wedding soon! 

 I love my dreamy dress. Vivien from Emma Weddings made it come true for me. Here's some tips for those who are getting married soon. Know what you want. Planning your wedding is going to be crazily hectic. A lot of people are going to give you a lot of suggestions but at the end of the day, its YOUR day. You should know how you to want to look and feel. If it doesn't make it feel you, you have the right to say something. Make sure by the end of the day, you feel satisfied cause lets face it, everything is money so spend it wisely and spend it on something that is worth it and its once in a lifetime experience. I love how my tailor makes me feel 'Me' and she is probably the best, honestly. She tailor makes to perfection.  (PS: Use time to decide on who to hire, where to have your wedding at wisely. Budget is seriously important. You can always find something nice that wont cost fortunes, trust me)

So there you go, a little something to share of my 'Happily Ever After'. Thank you for all the overwhelming doas. Thank you for leaving such sweet comments on Instagram, on Facebook. I'm glad if this story of ours inspires some of you. Thank you for sending emails too! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and sharing how happy you are for us. Please doakan for the best for both my husband and I and we pray the same for everyone. May Allah shower us all with Love, Rahmat&Barakah, In shaa Allah, Ameen. 

Pillow Talk : The Surprise Engagement

The Engagement of Farah Farisya&Zulikram :

Allah works in Mysterious Ways.

            I wasn’t too sure if I should or I shouldn’t share this journey of mine but I think it’s worth telling, well at least to me it is. It has been awhile since I actually wrote on my blog. I’ve been nestling in my own world, figuring my things out. I recently got engaged, it was a surprise to most that I actually received texts, people asking what happened, apa jadi? Kenapa? How? Even from the most random people, ( I thought my phone number was only for those who were interested in my cakes and not for asking personal questions, but oh well).

            My fiancé and I, got to know each other about a year ago, 18^th of June 2013. Sweet sangat la kan untuk remember the date, it’s because he print screened our 1^st conversation and a lot more (he might be insensitive sometimes but he’s such a sentimental person that I've come to discover) that now I’ve been keeping in my phone as a sentimental value of mine. Maybe one day, it’ll be my version of ‘How I met your Father’ Lol. He’s a best friend of my nephew's, I don’t know how my name came up in their conversation one day and he found me on instagram and used my cheesecake to get to me -___- (eyy) My weakness with him was when I met his family about a year ago. I was welcomed with such warmth, something I’ve always had in my doa and the very first time when we went over to my friend’s house, he became the Imam to us, so I knew he had agama. I wanted a family who makes me feel welcomed& warm and that was exactly how it was when I first met them. It was decent, it wasn't over the top, it was just normal, pleasant & just welcomed and feeling warm, exactly what I’ve always wanted and expected. But things dint work out, I’ve already had things on my plate, I wasn’t ready for anything maybe Allah belum bukakan hati lagi. Hati ni Allah yang punya, He decides what to put in and to whom it should open to. One thing about him, Ikram, he never gave up. He waited. Talk about not giving him even a slight chance, blocked him everywhere, un-friended him from Facebook, blocked on Instagram, blocked calls, blocked on whatsapp. Whenever he had the chance to talk to me, he’d tell me, “I’m so sure I’m going to marry you. I doa everyday” Creepy then, I swear but I was kinda awed by him being so sure, so determined. I met other people, some men give up so easily when things get rough, when we don’t reach them, they don’t find U, they wait for U to find them but that wasn’t Ikram. He knew what he wanted from the very beginning. His intentions were clear. I really love going to Islamic Events, I received mysterious free tickets out of absolutely no where! From Twins of Faith to Mufti Menk’s talk in KL, all free tickets. Siti, a really good friend of mine would out of the blue say “Farisya, I dapat free tickets for this event, jom pergi!” I’ve always wondered who, but when everything was settled, I found out it was all from Ikram cause he knew I love going to these events and of course Siti jadi orang tengah (thanks for keeping secrets from me, Adabiyah -___-)

            Months later, earlier this year, Momma came back from Kelantan from a cousin’s engagement. She asked about Ikram. I found out Ikram texted Momma while she was there and Momma fell for it (in a good way that is) and so I said “Ma, if U like him, mama arrange kan lah. Adik tak nak ambik tahu. Adik ikut je” I never thought Momma would take it seriously but she did! Text after text between Momma and Ikram, Momma finally told Ikram that if he was serious about me, bring his parents to come meet mine and of course, Ikram did. I don’t know how, macam mana but it just happened after that. It was easy. What surprised me was Bah. My dad, he’s the old school kinda guy, probably how most fathers are like too. I’m 20, education first, work on my degree, marriage later. Few came over to ask for my hand in marriage, trust me kena tolak kaw-kaw but it wasn’t like that this time. He was so approving of it. I was in a state of shock, I still dint understand how it was happening, macam mana? Macam mana boleh jadi macam ni. For those who know Bah, they’d totally understand what I’m exactly saying. I was also expecting some objection from my side of the family with the decision my parents are making but no, no one objected, in fact everyone was happy (mungkin semua nak get rid of me? Pfft ;p) Ikram’s family came in March, settled on having the engagement in June. Crazy how things happened so fast and so smooth that exaggerated or not, I felt like I was floating and I let things past by me, beyond my usual control (sometimes I could be a slightly control freak).

            It wasn’t easy for me to settle in, it took me awhile and a lot of Istikharah. I remember going to Twins of Faith last year, and before I went, I was actually wondering how Istikharah really works. Is there a time frame? Should I wait for a mimpi for an answer? All that, that made me confused. Allah answered me, I went to TOF, and there was a workshop called “Get Married or Die Fasting”. I was taken back on how many youths were there, teenagers, people around my age. Mungkin selalunya kita tengok perempuan yang asyik sibuk about these things, but no. The guys were there too, asking questions. Semua keluar, semua asyik cakap “I wanna get married. I think it’s so beautiful. I don’t wanna stay in sin.” I was one of them too. In the workshop, this really awesome Sheikh Alaa Elsayed (gosh, I fell in love with his lectures, he was really really good). I remember him saying “We Muslims, do not just simply get married out of love. It is not Mahabbah (love) for us Muslims. Marriage is about Mawaddah and Rahmah where Mawaddah is something higher than Mahabbah (love) and it comes from women and Rahmah is mercy which comes from men.” He blew me away, really and I’m so sure I wasn’t the only one. He explained about Istikharah and how it works. He said, Istikharah does not have a time frame to it, it isn’t a week or a month it is supposed to be done until U are sure and certain and that comes from Ur heart. Allah yang gerakkan hati. We ask, we will get the answer, In shaa Allah. Gerak hati ni sangat powerful especially when Ur nawaitu is Lillahita’ala. Allah will definitely help. When U seek for Him, He comes running to answer U. U just need to believe. MashaAllah, it’s incredible how it works, really. And so I did that, and I wasn’t in love, it felt different. I wasn’t into Ikram, I probably picked fights and became this really tough cookie, made it hard for him but I don’t know why, I never said I don’t wanna do this and declined the proposal. I became tough on him, ada je salah dia. Ada je tak kena. I get annoyed so fast even for the silliest things but Ikram just stood still and he was so patient that I always questioned Why? If it was lelaki lain, they’d probably walk off already but not him which surprised me. I probably had trouble with my fiancé, making him understand and just expecting knowing what to do because most of the time, he was clueless. He dint know how to handle situations but the best thing about him for now (I hope he stays this way) is that he listens and he improvises. When I tell him the things that I don’t like, he just sits and listens and never points back at me though I gave him many reasons for him to. I started opening up. Momma kept saying “Perasaan ni semua nafsu, the enjoyment of a relationship before marriage is all nafsu.” “If adik tak happy, Momma doa. Allah will ease Ur heart for him kalau dia lah terbaik for U, In shaa Allah” and so I guess she did, cause I started opening up as Ikram started to grow and improve. He made me want to improve as well and get myself all prepared. It made me still on the decision they were making for me because it made my parents happy knowing anak dia dengar cakap both of them. I may not have been a perfect daughter to them but knowing I’m doing something right, something that eases their hearts, bring pleasure to them made me just let it all happen and I knew, tak akan Momma&Bah would want to choose wrongly untuk their daughter. As days went by, of course I did research on my own about Ikram who was soon to be my fiancé then. I asked around (yes, if u’re reading this, I did) and all the feed backs I got were all good. I knew he had agama, and a good family background and responsible too. I was taken back one time when I saw him taking care of my nephew, Owais who is 3 months old whenever he’s over at my house with my family and how he loves Harris and Hanna. More importantly, I know he is really responsible towards his mum and that his parents and sisters mean a lot to him. I once heard a lecture on how to pick the right husband. Pick a man who takes care of his family, his mum especially and see how he treats his sisters cause that is how he will treat U. New tip, girls! Make sure U look out for these details when Ur looking for a husband. See if he loves learning about the Deen too. If a man cries over stories of Rasulullah saw, he’s a keeper to me and yes, dear fiancé, U fit the bill. I was also so happy to see that his family and mine connected so well. Momma has always wanted to berbesan with a family that can go well with us and Ikram’s family is such a pleasure to have. I know things can grow even better, In shaa Allah and thrilled that they all fit in so well. To me, family has been so important, I’ve had my share of bad experience so I’ve always doa, and Allah bagi at the right time. I was so happy! I mean, when U get married, main part is silaturrahim, U expand Ur family and to have a good relationship with each other is such a bonus. I would wanna be happy to spend time with my in laws, I could talk to my sister in laws and that it would be a pleasure every time my husband wants to go back to his family’s house rather than feeling tak nak cause some tension between us all but this, what I have now, even the start is better than what I have imagined. Like I said, the relationship isn’t over the top, but it progresses so beautifully each time, Alhamdulillah. I feel like myself when I’m around them and that’s a rezeki for me and they’re so lovely, Alhamdulillah.

            June came, 14^th of June to be exact everything&everyone was ready for my engagement. Mula-mula, tak nervous, relax-relax dulu, tak rasa apa. My engagement was after maghrib, and when my sister, Kak Jihan came in my room to assist me down, gosh! That’s when I couldn’t feel anything. Knees were weak and the rest was history. It went so well, it was like a reunion. My family and his, they were connected in some way, which most of them knew each other (small world!). Bah’s from Pahang, and his parents are too so as it turned out, some of them were long lost friends back in their days. It was so overwhelming, Alhamdulillah. Best part was, I had most of the important people in my life with me on that small step/special day of mine and so I thank family&friends who came daripada jauh just to witness that day with me. I started introducing people to Ikram (yes, he was there after it was all over) I introduced him as my fiancé, my tunang, it was too awkward at first and I’d giggle every time I introduced him cause bayangkan lah, I never introduced him as anything, he was not my boyfriend he was just Ikram and suddenly, hey! He’s my fiancé!

I felt like it was over within a split second and best part was everything was so casual and relaxed too! 

Probably my favorite picture of his mum&I 

P.S: Thanks, Rafiq for the amazing photos U took. 

            The guy known as the one who is so annoying, who doesn’t take no for an answer, who just doesn’t know when to stop is now my fiancé. Crazy how it works, kerja Allah. It all concludes to hati ni milik Allah. Now that guy who is annoying, I kinda miss when he’s working and on long hour flights. Allah yang boleh tukar how we feel but of course for now, everything has its limits to how we feel for things. There should be a distance cause when the time comes, then the distance closes and then ke langit biru pun both of us can go. May Allah protect us and keep our relationship clean&right. This is the perfect example for me, sometimes we plan but Allah plans it differently and better of course and just beautiful. It’s overwhelming to see all of this progressing. We’re not even waiting too long too, the engagement is only for 6 months. Imagine lah, 6 months! Now, everything is in progress for a wedding in December, In shaa Allah. They say I’d never get a nice hall in such short notice cause usually people book a year before but Alhamdulillah, I found a place better than I imagined with such a good deal. Things are progressing smoothly though I admit, it’s pretty stressful especially juggling with studies and also preparing tapi all is going fine. I’ve got so much help from the people around me that makes it all easy that makes it not such a heavy burden that I still have time and of course to prioritize my studies first and in between do my preparations. Not saying this is an all smooth sailing boat ride, it has its bumps but I’m too certain that Allah will help, In shaa Allah because we’re doing something beautiful and everything is because of Him and for Him.

            The girl who envied these young girls who got married while they were studying who ended up elok je, berkat je is finally getting married at 20, In shaa Allah. The girl yang asyik doa siang malam with a list of how she wants her future husband to be, dapat apa yang dia asyik doa pada Allah. I can’t thank Momma enough, berkat doa dia mungkin, berkat dia yang pilih. Because, redha Ibu, redha Allah. Nothing’s perfect but I’m too thankful for whatever that’s happening to me right now, for all that I have been given and maybe, just maybe I might have done something right. For every flaw and bump, makes me realize, this is just dunia which makes it real and not make believe. May Allah ease my journey&Berkatkan my perjalanan because Ya Allah, I’m so thankful, Alhamdulillah.

            Thanks to those who have doa and wished for me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, May Allah bless everyone. 

Thanks Dena for capturing this, this picture's so priceless just cause maybe Bah hugged me that way. Felt like I was 6 again. We had a small celebration for Bah's 78th birthday too since his birthday was on the 6th of June. 

and of course all of them,Us. Finally a family picture of all of us. Thanks kakak-kakak&abang for just EVERYTHING! *though I wish Bah smiled -__-*

Just cause

Because indeed, nobody has the right to bring your day down. Revive positivity always! 

X

Behind The Scenes Of A Miraculous Irony

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

I have shared in an older post which I mentioned that I bake and that I am running a small humble cake business at home. Alhamdulillah, it has almost been a year of being in this very miraculous irony. From a gal from small who NEVER EVER did fancy cakes and she is now baking and creating a business out of it? Really? Allah indeed creates magic! I wasn't or still not a fan of cakes cause I did not like the texture of cakes and how spongy it feels in my mouth, regardless of how moist it can be. What are birthdays without cakes? Every year on my birthday, yes I insist on having a birthday cake on the table just because it is a tradition. Like I mentioned, what are birthdays without cakes kaaan? It completes a birthday photograph, I'm a girl and allowed to be vain of course hehe but the cakes were always for the rest but never for me. Anyway, in short... I was never a fan of cakes.

A year ago, as many of you know, I hijrah-ed and that was one of the biggest gift from The Almighty (Alhamdulillah) and after a few months, after getting a few things straight and adjusting to my 'new' everyday life He presented me with a gift. It started from a thought, a tiba-tiba wanting to try to bake and then He gave me the ability to. I still remember the first cake I baked, it was vanilla and chocolate muffins. I remember an old friend of Momma's who baked incredible vanilla chocolate chip muffins and they were amazing! They were moist and very vanilla-ish, it wasn't spongy, it was PERFECT! I called her for the recipe and she was kind enough to share and so I went the shop to get my ingredients and I baked and everybody at home started liking them and that inspired me to do more. 

 First attempt on chocolate chip muffin :B

First attempt on vanilla chocolate chip muffin

My 1st Exposure

I was baking my first attempt on chocolate cake one day at home and everybody seemed to like the outcome of it. I was so happy that it was moist and it was perfect in sense of taste, in sense of how it physically looked, well... tak cun of course haha ANYWAY! KakFa, my eldest sister was teaching in Sri Cempaka Private School last year and she brought some of my chocolate cake to school and gave some to the teachers and her students annnnndddd they loved it! I started taking orders and Alhamdulillah, I received a lot of them too. From Chocolate Cake to Red Velvet Cake those were the first two cakes I learned how to bake. 

I remember how my first order from a school teacher from kakak's school. She ordered chocolate moist walnut cake and so I baked it BUT there were complications with the oven. Not so much of complications but I was such a noob back then and the oven wasn't something I knew how to handle. As I put my cake in the oven, I waited for about 30 minutes for it to set and rise so as I thought it was ready, I pulled it out and I noticed it was senget! It did not rise evenly and I baked a night before the delivery that my sister was supposed to take it to school the next day in the morning for the teacher. I was exhausted and me being me, sangatlah gelabah. I wanted to cry. Momma said it looked okay but Kakak said it did not look okay, I should reduce the price and Momma said its okay, its not that obvious so I shouldn't reduce the price. I was pretty bewildered and I was about to flip! So I ended up reducing the price. It was pretty hectic. I am a cepat gelabah girl, so impatient and baking needs U to be patient and ur patience is so well tested. I get really upset when my cake is not how I pictured it to be but it ended up okay. The teacher loved it. 

It looked like this 

My first cake out, Chocolate Walnut 

And then there was the Red Velvet! I made cupcakes out of them 

I loved how my cream cheese had that lemony spike to it but cheesy and creamy as well. 

My attempt on my Red Velvet did not manage to beat the taste of my chocolate cake as the cream cheese overwhelmed the taste of the red velvet itself. I lessen an ingredient to my red velvet that did not give it that umph to the taste and the cream cheese gave more of an impact and that the cake itself did not compliment the taste of the cream cheese. After awhile, I started making some changes and adjusting flavors and ingredients and Viola! It tasted good, Alhamdulillah. 

First Bazaar

Later in June, my niece who owned an online boutique selling muslimah fashion attires (Awesome shawls. I love everything that she's selling) Check out Aroush ! Anyway, she was joining a bazaar held in one of the mosques in Ampang and I asked if I could maybe join her booth and she said OK! So, it started from there where my exposure got wider. The outcome of the bazaar was very very overwhelming to me. Probably my cakes were not ALL sold out but I made profit out of it. I remember how that satisfactory feeling that I felt. Not only that I earned my own money with something that I was able to do and out of all of the possibilities, it was cake that I was able to make and more importantly, I knew this was a start of something great. It was great that I had all the help&support from my loved ones too. My mum, my siblings, my family and even my special man. Imran was there from start of the event till the end helping me out through the haste and the hot blazing weather, forever grateful I will be. The most overwhelming moment that I could remember was a few days after the bazaar, I opened the page of the bazaar organizer and a girl commented below a picture of my booth asking how can she contact me and so I quickly replied and gave her my contact details. I never knew someone would want to search for me and that my cake gave anybody an impact sampai nak cari the organizer page and ask for my contact details and how she can place an order. She called me after and she told me how much she loved my Red Velvet and that she really wanted to order a cake from me for her friend's upcoming birthday celebration. She ended up going for the Chocolate Walnut Cake. 

 I remember the incident when I delivered her cake. I had trouble with the writing which frustrated me to the max. I couldn't remember how many times I scraped off the writing gel off the cake which made me a little late. Thank God I was asked to deliver it at The Curve which was so nearby my place.  I drove the car to The Curve with my Mama and Imran and I remember I was in the parking lot and I was reversing my car and I was too gelabah tak tentu pasal that I accidentally bumped a car behind me. I was shivering in fear, dah lah lambat deliver lepas tu bang someone's car, what are the odds of bad luck. Thank God it was too minor and that it dint leave a scratch to his car or my car but in the end, the cake was delivered safely to Islah, the girl's name. Islah and I became instant friends after. We talk to each other once in awhile and been wanting to arrange for a proper meet up but time has not been that fair so far. In shaa Allah, soon I hope!

Here's a picture of Islah&I at a recent bazaar I had a month ago. She came all the way just to see me and get a taste of my cakes which was so sweet.

And also, Kak Syazana. A follower on Instagram whom I instantly became friends with. She would come all the way for my bazaars more than once actually! I cherish these moments and meeting these amazing people is an absolute privilege for me. I wish I took more photos with more lovely people that I have met through out this journey of mine but bare in mind that I am very thankful for everyone's presence in my life, Alhamdulillah.

P.S: those are not her kids in the picture. Kak Syazana is still Single&Available hehehe 

Genie In A Bottle

An idea from my Mama's best friend, Aunty Rosmah who pitched me this idea of doing my cakes in bottles to make it different and also convenient for people who does not want them in a big portion of a cake and it's been incredible cause people love them! Great for gifts or small little personal events for a small group of people. I sell them with a minimum order of 3 bottles per flavor.

I cannot thank Aunty Rosmah enough for this incredible idea!  

XOXO

My Personal Fav, The Instant Hit

I remember my first taste of this absolutely delicious cheesecake. It was Imran's sister's, Nadiah's Mars Bar Cheesecake that she was selling when we were participating in one of the bazaars that we joined. I remember how everybody loved the cheesecake and I so wanted to try but I did not get the chance to until when I sent back about two leftover tupperware of her cheesecakes to her and she decided to give me one. So, I went back home and gave it a try and it was so lovely. The taste, the filing, the texture, it was really really nice and that was my very first introduction to this superb cheesecake. A few months after, I went to Mukha a nearby coffee chill out place in TTDI with a good friend of mine, Fatin and my eyes caught the Mars Bar Cheesecake in Souka Souka Bakery's chiller! So I thought I had to have a taste of that again and so I did and then I decided that I should google for the recipe and try it out and so I did but I changed the Chocolate Bar into KitKats (I have now boycotted Nestle's products so KitKat is not in the cheesecake list now. Save Palestine!) and I posted on my Instagram and Facebook and it became a hit after. The first one to order was a follower from my Instagram for her office and then I have been receiving repeated orders again and again and again and AGAIN until Now. I gotta say, even for a girl who does not like cakes but this one is my own favorite! It's not baked but chilled and the taste is amazing. My personal favorite would be Snickers Cheesecake and it seems to be everyone's favorite as well. The combination of the chocolate and the nuts in it and the cheese and the chocolate sauce and the biscuit as the base is just PERFECT! Snickers really gives that 'kick' to it. Best part is, these cakes of mine has variety in terms where my customers (I hate using the word customer) can customize  their own cakes. For instance, the cheesecake, they can change the chocolate bars into whatever they wish to for example, Twix,Toblerone,Kisses,Cadbury anything at all, U name it EXCEPT for Nestle's chocolates. They're encouraged to change it up, spice it up as I am very into things that are different and experimenting new things. Not just Cheesecake that they are able to change but also other cakes if they have an idea of what they want to add, no limits! 

For this cheesecake of mine, I thank you to Nadiah&of course Souka Souka for inspiring this cake of mine! XOXO

First Attempt on Fondant 

A few days before I received this order made by my aunt, MakChu. I've always wanted to get my hands on fondants and try it out it's just that I did not have the chance to and I heard they had techniques for fondants. Suddenly, Makchu asked if I could make 100 cupcakes for her Petronas event that was happening in the weekend so I took the chance and said YES! Only God knows I had no experience in fondants and I was taking chances with this. I really believe in taking chances, it's where U kick Urself to learn. So, I went to City Bakers in Kota Damansara. I absolutely love City Bakers. The workers and the owner are my friends now, they absolutely are so helpful with my needs and they give me good discounts as well as a regular (HEHEHE of course that's the best part!) I would really recommend bakers to try City Bakers to buy stuffs or to ask for information about cakes, they are very very helpful and informative. So I went there and asked, Kak Mira how to use fondants so I got my juice and tried it out. Makchu wanted two different colored balloons on her cupcakes. Seeing the picture U may think it's just a balloon and it's easy, UR SO WRONG! 200 balloons, was crazy! Thank God I had Momma. She helped me roll out the strings for the balloons and in the end, it turned out pretty good for a first timer. Delivered them out to KL and Alhamdulillah, received good reviews and that some was too sayang to eat them *blush*

Presenting ' Farisya's Al Kahqa'

I then started thinking of names of what to call this small humble cake thing I'm doing. It has to have a name for it. I wanted something different. I wanted it to sound different from what others are calling their business. English is too mainstream. I wanted something weird as I am weird. I remember when I went to City Bakers they would always say "U, when U come here, U always buy barang pelik-pelik" Yes, cause I am pelik! Anyway, I wanted non of that delicious, or whatever baker, bakery this and that name. I wanted an edge to it. I started translating english words to spanish,french, itallian but it dint have that ring to it that I got hooked on. So, I asked my family on our whatsapp family group. Momma was listing out a list full of names that were really cute, we had a good laugh then my sister, KakFa who was then in Cape Town, back in her husband's place who suddenly suggested "how about 'Kahqa?" It was actually 'Ka'aq' which means Cakes&Delicacies in Arabic but Kahqa is like a bahasa pasar for it (many arabic students asked me this and wanted to make sure I got it right) and I started googling and my heart just was stuck to 'Al Kahqa' so we added the Farisya in front that became 'Farisya's Al Kahqa' well 'Al Kahqa' for short hehehe My last bazaar was coming up so Imran suggested that we make name cards so I could distribute them cause the last bazaar, people were asking how do they contact me and I started writing my infos on tissues! So to be more professional, Imran started out designing my name card and this is how it turned out to be!

Voila! My first ever name card! I posted out on my social networks and they loved the design of it! I absolutely love the spike to it. Imran and I worked out on the design but it was fully Imran's and Alhamdulillah, he did a superb job to it. I was satisfied with how it looked and the name and everything to it. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, ALHAMDULILLAH! Seriously I never ever thought or did it ever occur to my mind or my conscience that I could ever own a business card at the age of 19 and start something with my bare hands. All Allah's. Indeed it was His magic and with His will. SubhanaAllah.

P.S: If U ever need a graphic designer, or a thing to design such as name cards, banners and etc etc feel free to contact Imran Yusof at : subpop100@gmail.com or PM him here Imran Yusof (All inquiries are only about business and nothing personal for I will hunt U ;p kidding )

Also, in case Ur not so comfortable with dealing with a man then U can contact my Aunt, Julaiza Ismail. She is also a graphic designer and she does amazing work!
Feel free to contact her here!
EMAIL: designbliss@artlover.com
HP : 0178777438

The Munchkins Of The Cake Family 

Imran pitched me with this idea while we were buying my medium sized jars. He saw this small jar and told me it could be a great idea if I had a smaller sized one and I immediately said "Ok, lets try it out!" We went back to my place and after dealing with orders, I tried out making my cheesecakes in these mini jars. I tried only one and posted it on Instagram. Instagram has been such a huge help for me. Facebook was pretty slow but on Instagram my followers were starting to build up, Alhamdulillah and that's where I started receiving all this orders from people whom I dont know and started making new friends! So, thank you Instagram! Anyway, I put it up on my Instagram and asked my followers if they were interested in these mini sized jars. If they were, I was gonna start taking orders and then straight away, I received orders for these! Alhamdulillah. I love how I now have a variety of sizes that people can choose from. 

Buttercream&I

Oh, my new love! My buttercream story... So, a cousin of mine which I now call her the 'Cake Decorating Guru' came over last week to teach me and my aunty Za how to decorate cakes. My cousin, Kak Iza has a bakery business that she's been doing for years and her work is amazing! Check her out and hit the Like button! JulizascakeeNcafe She also conducts cake decorating classes from fondants to buttercream, U name it. U can contact her there ;) Anyway, she started us with how to use tools and create flowers and this and that! Incredible things! Check out what my Aunty Za and I did. 

 Shoes I made from fondant. The structure of the baby shoes were actually different but it was so hard and I gave up so I made my own baby shoes! Melawan Guru, not something to follow! Lol

 Lavenders on the sides of our cakes. Really pretty 

Left side was Aunty Za's clown and the right was mine, the one with the sopan sitting clown ;p

We covered from roses to baby shoes to clowns! It was really awesome! I really needed some guidance on decorating cause I gotta admit that I have a tad or no knowledge at all at cake decorating so having this opportunity with my cousin, Kak Iza was splendid for me. It also helped me cause my sister's friend ordered two dozens of vanilla cupcakes with buttercream frosting which she wanted flowers on top that weekend which was last weekend and look what I came up with on my own after my 101 Cake Decorating class with Kak Iza. 

The theme was blue so blue roses it was for her! At first it was a challenge and as I went on, Alhamdulillah it turned great and my family was surprised with what I came up with. My eyes wanted to bulge out! It took so much concentration! But Alhamdulillah, it turned out great and the one ordered was so pleased with it and she told me that her mum and herself loved it so it was really overwhelming. 

     Truth is, I don't know how I did this or how I got this and what did I deserve to be receiving all this wonderful magic to be poured on me. I was one of them who received His blessings, Alhamdulillah. My whole life, I never loved cakes and this wasn't my thing at all and I never imagined it to be a thing of mine or having a business at this age was never in my thoughts but Hey Allah can give U anything and change U. I never had the passion for it but truth is, I already miss baking. I'm currently having a break on baking since I got fully sponsored to attend Al Maghrib's seminar on Fiqh of Da'wah, Alhamdulillah (Promise to write soon on this. A whole different story and cant wait to share!) which was last weekend and will continue another two more days next weekend and my sem break is ending and my third sem is commencing this week, so I have to get myself settled with classes and all and shall continue my baking and taking orders next week, In shaa Allah. It's been so great, a whole new wonderful journey for me. I somehow understand why this baking skill was for me, I am a girl with a tad of patience, very minimal. And baking, takes A LOT of patience! In a way, maybe Allah is making me practice my patience and bulk it up by this ability! Who knows? Wallhualam. I cannot stress more on how deeply grateful I am to Allah SWT and how amazing He has been pouring me with His blessings, Alhamdulillah. I secondly want to thank my family, Imran, my friends for helping me and supporting me through out. Alhamdulillah. 

Al Kahqa has been doing really great, Alhamdulillah. My baking business is not entirely about money. It's the outcome of it which I deeply appreciate. The fact that from selling cakes is where bonds were created. The social network has been helping me a lot. New friends that were initially strangers to me became FRIENDS of mine! Silaturrahim was created and I'm just so thankful and I can't wait to continue and get to know more people. Alhamdulillah, I will be forever grateful. May Allah persist this for me and fill it with more good things. Do make doa for me as I will for U, In shaa Allah. Last but not least, Thank U for everyone's support especially to my instagram followers! May Allah shed blessings on all of U. Amin.

Maka dengan ini, habislah cerita panjang lebar about my miraculous irony story! Do check out my Instagram for photo samples of cakes/ my personal Facebook and also, click here Sisters In Hijab for pictures of my cakes but mostly my sister, Kak Jihan's collection of hijabs! ;) 

Jazakallah Khayr 

Wassalam 

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The Inside Hurricane

Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

As a first year student of Psychology, I kinda feel worthless but at the same time anxious to speed up to learn more and understand more of how the human brain works and how feelings are developed. Worthless because I wish I could solve the hurricane in my mind. I wish I could understand how the mind works, I wish, I wish, I wish I knew what to do always. 

Truth is, we don't even know where the mind is located. When someone asks "where is your mind?" it is a question that no one can even answer. It's been on debate for many years, yet no answer has been found so how really can U really understand the mind? I could read my Psychology textbook, I could memorize each word but would I understand myself better or others better? I could only try to understand the surface of how one feels, and when I truly have the complete knowledge, I could diagnose them with scientific symptoms but does anybody teaches U how to cure feelings? Broken hearts, or a journey that Ur not too sure of what  is going to happen, the mystery that haunts you?

I feel like I have been given a mountain to climb, I wasn't that fit to hike up, it over whelmed me but yet, I trusted my guts to still go on and hike. As I climbed, I went through a lot of obstacles, but I faced it, something I did not imagine that I ever could. I still continued, I was tired but then I looked ahead and saw a place to rest, a place to catch a breather, a place that gave me a second to actually hope that I could reach the end but it only gave me a second. With no guarantees, I still climbed but I still couldn't see how the end would turn out to be, things were just too blurry. I was left scared and shattered and wondering do I climb down and give up but after all this time wasted should I give up now? Or shall I go on and 'believe' that I will reach the end? Will everything be okay? As a human, I wanted a guarantee to grasp on and that is where I realized, there isn't a guarantee. No one for sure knows what the outcome of a situation will lead to because we are not God. 

They say, believe in Allah, hope, be positive, DOA and DOA. I have believed and I do believe in Allah, I have hoped and I still hope, I have doa-ed and still will keep on going on with my Doa but still why are these emotions and doubts of a certain matter keeps bugging me and my head? Truly because I was a human in need of a 'guarantee'. My peace was when people telling me that everything is going to be okay, they feel it's going to come out alright but none of them actually knows. Those are just words of calmness but never a guarantee. I have come to an outcome, that a guarantee is 'Believing' only in ONE, only in Him, Allah s.w.t. Sometimes it's hard, it is not as easy as it sounds like to Believe and submit Urself to Allah. There's when the syaitan comes, they whisper doubts, they make U doubt what U believe in. 

We're just humans, we slip, we make mistakes, we often repeat the same mistakes over and over again but every time when U take a breath, remind Urself. Ask Urself, battle with the ones who whispers to U. I am only human, my iman is pretty weak and writing this, lifts me up from depression and refuels my beliefs, which I hope the ones who read, feels the same. Emotions are just emotions, U control them and U certainly control U. Ur fate is in the hands of Allah but what U believe in is also what U channel Urself through Ur own path and what may happen for U. 

The ones who say "everything is going to be okay" or "everything is gonna happen and come out alright", they are not those who guarantees the situation but they are as means of Allah, tools of Allah to help U believe in what U worry about. When people embrace U with words of calmness, revive that they are not the ones who gives U guarantees but it is them who reminds U to 'Believe' in the One up there and they are the ones who refuels Ur beliefs. 

A problem with myself is that I have this urge to fix things, to always wanting to do something about a situation immediately. Yes, I am a Miss Fix It. I do things and say things hastily in thought to fix but who really am I? I often forget to submit myself and turn to Allah and leave my problems to Allah. I often guide myself and forget God when I know Allah will find a way out for me and I know I would end up fixing it but in the right way. My brother in law and I had a conversation a month back that made me realize certain issues with myself and that I can't fix everything. I can't make things better with just a blink of an eye. Hasty decisions will not come out as genius and it will definitely not make things better and sometimes it turns into regret and leaves U bewildered with the situation that U are in. Those battles in Ur heart, those unwanted unnecessary feelings, come when you have all these symptoms as I have. Back to the 2nd paragraph of this write up, no one will ever understand Ur mind, Ur feelings or Ur emotions as only Allah knows it better, even better than U do. No shrink can ever tell U how to cure Urself as they could only diagnose U but to cure it there's only one way which is to submit, submit Urself to Allah and leave it to Allah and Pray and Pray. 

Right here, right now, this impromptu write up made me feel way better and made me realize and made me muhasabah. I really hope those who feels this way too sometimes, find some goodness out of this write up, In shaa Allah. Together, we fix and mend our hearts and always reminding ourselves to submit ourselves to Allah, In shaa Allah, in hope for peace with ourselves and no more hurricanes in our minds as they are all syaitans.

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The term 'FEAR of Allah', can 'Fear' be used?

Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

A few weeks back, I had an interesting conversation between a few friends over drinks. A friend was intrigued to know my process of istiqomah and the story behind my process of changing. He asked a question (which I cant remember exactly what) probably it was one of those question "why are U covering Urself" or something like that, that made me answer "Cause I fear Allah". As I continued talking, another friend barged in the conversation and stated out that using the term 'Fear Of Allah' is wrong and it shouldn't be used and I stumbled and got a lil bewildered. He stated out that using the term 'FEAR' of Allah seakan-akan saying Allah to macam something that could eat Us alive, describing yang Allah tu jahat or scary in some ways (maybe?) that's why he said that using the term 'FEAR' is wrong, not sekali but berkali-kali penuh dengan confidence.

In my position, my knowledge is pretty little, tak sehebat mana pun. I'm still learning and seeking knowledge. I wanted to flip cause I thought deep in my heart, I know I made sense and I was right but I just listened to his explanation and thought to myself its alright, I'm gonna go home and do my research and find the right hujah. He sounded so confident though he dint really have the exact hujah but only the fact that he heard about this 'fact' in his Uni. Kalau dia sendiri tak de hujah, apatahlah lagi myself. I could not defend myself but only stood with patience and could not wait to go home and find the truth and find out if I was the one who got it wrong or he did.

I went home and for days and weeks I thought about it. One thing that I am so blessed with is that, I trust my guts. I know when something I cant let go, I cant take my mind off, I know something is wrong. I googled for a hadith or anything in the Quran that relates to 'Fear of Allah' and Hey! I found them...

1)  And believe in what I reveal, confirming the revelation which is with you, and be not the first to reject Faith therein, nor sell My Signs for a small price; and fear Me, and Me alone.
( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #41)

2) And remember We took your covenant and We raised above you (The towering height) of Mount (Sinai): (Saying): "Hold firmly to what We have given you and bring (ever) to remembrance what is therein: Perchance ye may fear Allah."
( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #63

3) So We made it an example to their own time and to their posterity, and a lesson to those who fear Allah.
( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #66)


4)  Thenceforth were your hearts hardened: They became like a rock and even worse in hardness. For among rocks there are some from which rivers gush forth; others there are which when split asunder send forth water; and others which sink for fear of Allah. And Allah is not unmindful of what ye do.
( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #74)

5) For Hajj are the months well known. If any one undertakes that duty therein, Let there be no obscenity, nor wickedness, nor wrangling in the Hajj. And whatever good ye do, (be sure) Allah knoweth it. And take a provision (With you) for the journey, but the best of provisions is right conduct. So fear Me (al-taqwa wa ittaqooni), o ye that are wise. S. 2:197

6) O ye who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared (ittaqoo Allaha haqqa tuqatihi), and die not except in a state of Islam. S. 3:102 Y. Ali

7) And according to a hadith... On the authority of Abu Dharr Jundub ibn Junada and Abu Abdul Rahmaan Muaadh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with both of them) from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) who said, “Fear Allah wherever you are. And follow up a bad deed with a good deed and it will wipe it out. And behave towards the people with a good behaviour.” (Recorded in al-Tirmidhi)

 

 

and the list goes on and on...

 

 

Still, I wasn't done.. I still wanted more. As I searched for more suddenly I remembered in one of my Islamic Studies class in Uni, my Ustaz mentioned 'taqwa'.. what is Taqwa? He defined as 'Fear'. Fear of nothing, of no one BUT Allah S.W.T.
"Sayyiduna Ali (R.A) defined Taqwa as being the ‘fear of Jaleel (Allah), acting upon the tanzeel (Quran), being content with qaleel (little), and preparing for the day of raheel (journeying from this world)." If we couldn't use 'Fear' what should we replace it with other than taqwa? 'Respect'? Langsung tak sesuai. To me, the context of 'Respect' can only be used upon other humans or such but not Allah. For instance, respecting someone... Yes, I respect the people around me but how about when they're out of my sight? Will I still behave? We respect our parents tapi ada jugak kadang-kadang when they are not around, we misbehave. Tak akan nak guna term 'Respect' for Allah? Here's my own definition of FEAR of Allah S.W.T...

I Fear Allah because he owns everything in this world. He owns me, my heart and the whole entire universe. When I die, it's to Him whom I go back to, The Almight (SWT). I Fear Allah because we as humans are His servants. Dalam setiap manusia, especially in a Muslim perlu ada sifat 'kehambaan', the feeling of strive to serve Allah S.W.T better. Furthermore, for say we as students, we were assigned with an assignment tapi ended up last minute tak cukup perfect our assignment and we know it damn well if it isn't perfect enough we may fail. We FEAR of failing. Itu lah concept dia! We fear of the concequences of each act we put up with. I fear of my sins that will lead to Jahanam. I fear I am not good enough for Allah to satisfy Allah after all He has given me. So why not use the word Fear? I Love Allah and I Fear of His punishments of my own sins that I have created, I Fear I am not worthy in Allah's sight and tak dapat His barakah and keredhaan and I Fear not being able to reach the goal of Jannah.

I attended this week's Islamic Studies class and asked my Ustaz regarding this small issue and got all that I needed.  Alhamdulillah with the help of some infos from my Ustaz and this is all that I could sum it up with. Plus, I consulted my sister, KakFa this morning and wanted to hear her view on the term 'Fear Of Allah' still the similar answer that I received from her as well. So, Alhamdulillah! Im satisfied. We all have our own definition of terms. Fear or other words. It's what U define it to be and what fits the term. Alhamdulillah, I thank Allah for the thirst of wanting to know more and finding the truth and seeking for the right hujah. Lepas ni, when someone jumps up with a statement which I feel tak masuk akal or something new, first thing I'm gonna ask is "Where's ur hujah?" "Do U have a specific hadith that says so?" "Is it written in the Quran?" "Is it in a sunnah?" If U cant answer me, pergi find ur hujah and get ur facts right and then talk to me and explain. I dont mind being corrected, in fact please correct me when I'm wrong. I'd love to learn but when correcting a statement, make sure U have pure concrete facts and deliver the correction full of humbleness as U know Ur statement is not concrete enough. Have the right hujah, dont just spoon feed someone with statements, especially those who are still in search of knowledge. I'm not always right, You are not always, We are not always right. We're just humans and not even close to having the traits of Rasulullah s.a.w. Every step we take is a learning process no matter how old we are.

So, if someone corrects Ur statement and leaves U confuse and U can't find the right words to counter back, its okay... Keep calm, stay patient and go home and do Ur research and find whatever U can. It's not to just claim and prove that Ur right but take it as a way of educating Urself too. So, I thank this friend of mine because of him I wanted to search and seek the truth and Hey! Alhamdulillah, I know a lil more now, I gained something but most of all, I thank Allah, it could have just been a conversation that I could not even bother to be intrigued to seek but with His will, he made me thirst to know more and not just swallow what people spoon me with. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

Jazakallah Khair,
Wassalam
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